a tide in the affairs of men
by caricatureofintimacy
Summary: pressure from billy changes jake’s view on girls - bella - forever, edward being there constantly and alive doesn’t help the problem either. edward/jacob, jacob/bella.
1. Chapter 1

title: _a tide in the affairs of men_ ll author: _caricatureofintimacy_ ll rating: _pg_ ll word count:_ 2,100 words_ ll pairings: _edward/jacob, jacob/bella (bella/edward)_ ll warnings: _slash, homosexuality, swearing, loneliness_ ll spoilers: _it's best not to read this if you haven't read any twilight, but it won't hurt you. just knowing the characters and you should be fine. au to the first book_ ll summary: _pressure from billy changes jake's view on girls (bella) forever, edward being there and alive doesn't help either._ ll

authors notes: _i have shamefully taken quotes from both my chemical romance and william shakespeare, and odd coupling but for the story they will do. the title comes from william shakespeares play julius ceaser. the full quote is: _we at the height are ready to decline. there is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. on such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures. (iv.ii.269–276). _the quote is relevant to the story. in a way it is relevant to each of our lives. the quote below is from my chemical romance's vampires will never hurt you. another fitting quote for this story. this will be chapter length unlike my other stories. so i hope you enjoy. reviews are delightful and i will love to have some input. anyone who would like to beta is welcome to email me and we can chat. a beta is always on the menu. enjoy_

* * *

**a tide in the affairs of men**

**chapter one (_told in eight parts_)**

(_And these thoughts of endless night  
bring us back into the light  
and this venom from my heart_)

**one**.

They all know the old folks tale in La Push, and it's something Jacob assumes is born with them at birth, vampires are not allowed to step foot onto their property. For years Billy had made sure to tell Jacob that it was safe for him, that unlike Billy himself, he would not have to turn into a werewolf to protect the land, because there were simply no vampires to protect it from. Until the night Bella ran away to live with Charlie. That was the first night Jacob started to feel a _change_.

**two**.

'Bella is a nice girl' Billy said, pushing back on his wheelchair to dip dangerously sideways. Rachel, Jacob's sister, swore loudly and grabbed onto the handle bars by her chair anchoring Billy back safely to the ground. Jacob took the plate from Rebecca's hands, ignoring his father, and dried it with a towel, placing it neatly in a pile next to the sink after it was appropriately dry.

'Pretty too, don't you think Jake?' Billy asked, wheeling away from Rachel's fussing hands and further into the kitchen. Rachel's sigh was quiet before she stomped out of the room and down the hallway into her and Rebecca's bedroom. 'Of course' Jacob answered mechanically, like a robot, Billy grinned in delight.

'One day you will marry that girl' Billy ordered playfully, pointing his finger in Jacob's direction. Rebecca giggled and flicked some soapy bubbles in his direction. Humming the wedding march underneath her breath, swaying softly to the music. Jacob ignored them both and put the dishes into the cupboard beneath him. Nodding his head in his father's direction to quell his thirst for Jacob finding a nice girl. Not that Bella wasn't nice, she was just Bella. Most of the time Jacob felt nothing more for her than a friend. The other times it was forced love that made him want more.

'Sure dad, you can send out the invites and everything'

Jacob was eleven.

**three**.

Rebecca and Rachel moved out of home, and Jacob moved into their bigger room. Jacob appreciated the space, and thought himself lucky to have been upgraded from a barely able to walk in room, to a maybe we can squeeze in a closet walk in room. This was unheard of in the small town of La Push, and Jacob loved his rooms. But he loved his sisters more, and he'd rather have them back then have a bigger room. For once Jacob was alone. Sure he had the guys. Embry and Quill, but recently they had discovered girls, and how some bodies were curvy and others were thin and lanky. And all they wanted to talk about were their boners and how much they couldn't wait to get laid, and Jacob felt...alone.

He couldn't talk to Billy about it because in Billy's head Jacob was his shining star, and nothing could be _so_ wrong in Jacob's life that could be warrant enough to have a heart to heart about. And Embry and Quill had boners and girls to talk about. And Jacob felt...alone.

A year later Bella moved to Forks.

**four**.

'Charlie that's great' Billy said enthusiastically over the phone, he was wheeled over to the window, looking through the door to where Jacob was fixing his car, a rag tucked neatly into his back pocket to wipe away any remaining oil, and Billy smiled. 'You can finally have Bella to yourself for a while' Billy continued, watching Jacob roll out from underneath the car to wipe away collected sweat from his brow.

'_I just don't know why she chose to come now, so close to the end of her high school career, there has got to be some reason Billy, I am sure of it. I'm thinking Phil has something to do with it, but if so Renee would have told me. Billy I don't think I am ready to have a kid in the house twenty four seven' _

'Charlie, Bella is seventeen she is not a kid, if I know anything about kids by the time they hit their teenager years they in some ways start to look after you. Anyway, with Bella moving in with you this provides a good opportunity for Jacob and Bella to get to _know_ each other' Billy explained with a promiscuous grin.

'_The innuendo in that sentence Billy is practically dripping from every pore of your being. I'm sure things will work out for themselves. Who knows maybe it's their wedding we will be attending in the next ten years'_

'Sooner if I have any say in it' Billy replies, wheeling the chair away from the window and into the kitchen. 'The sooner the better I say, they were born for each other Charlie, you and Renee both know it. They clicked perfectly when they were kids' Billy recounted pouring himself a glass of water and taking a heavy sip.

'_Yes, however, they were also born to be friends. Fate is fate Billy. I'm not going to let Jacob and Bella make the same mistake me and Renee did those many years ago. It's just not worth it. Bella was the only good thing that came out of it.' _

'Yes, yes. I know Charlie, I know. I am just so excited. Jacob's never shown any interest in girls, not like Embry and Quill have, and I was sort of scared that he might be...well...anyway maybe when seeing Bella again he will become normal...hopefully. I remember when I was his age I could barely keep my dick in my pants. Jacob just seems to out of it sometimes... he scares me.'

'_Maybe you're just paranoid. Girls probably love Jacob because he is sensitive and all that shit that rocks their bones. He'll be dating, and dancing and kissing before you know it'_

**five**.

Jacob wiped the sweat off of his face and turned his head slightly to the side to look into the house. Billy was still on the phone with Charlie, and from the light in his eyes, Jacob knew that he was either talking about the football or Bella, so he turned back to his car before his own eyes could catch his father's attention. It had been a few years since Jacob had last seen Bella, at that stage Bella had started to change into a woman. Her thighs and hips proportioned out with her body, and she developed well in the chest. And Jacob felt nothing. However, in not seeing Bella for years, it hadn't stopped his father from talking about her. Bella was the apple in Billy's eyes, and if Rachel and Rebecca were guys Billy would have sold his soul to the devil to have one of them wed to Bella, and Jacob was okay with that. As long as she wasn't wed to him. Nothing against Bella. He just felt...nothing.

'How much time do you spend on that shit box?' came from above him, and Jacob swore loudly in fright, banging his head loudly on the car door above him. An amused chuckle came from the guest, and Jacob growled pathetically and wheeled himself from under the car. Above him, stood a sparkling statue, and if Jacob wasn't used to seeing the persons face, Jacob would've gasped. The sight was as always, beautiful.

'About as much time as you spent on your hair this morning' Jacob shot back, crouching forward on his knees to sit up. Edward laughed loudly at the retort and swayed back and forth on the soles of his feet. It was true that Edward spent a lot of time on his personal looks, not that it took him so long anyway as being a vampire gave him that beautiful look, but he enjoyed the comfort of a routine. And it made him feel human, for just a small part of the day.

'No really, whenever I come over you're working on that automobile, either it's so shitty that it needs twenty four hour attention, or you have nothing better to do but refix the problems you have already fixed' Edward said, walking around the car to check out it's fine details of scratches and dents. It truly was a sight to see.

'Oh woe is me, you have caught me out. And to think that I thought I was hiding this so well' Jacob teased, rolling around the car to follow Edward out of view from his father and the rest of the town. Edward was sitting on the cool floor, back up against the car and looking at the shed in boredom. Jacob falls off of the roller and sits down next to Edward. They sit in silence for a few minutes. Like normal it's comfort that keeps them so close together because otherwise...

'You really do smell you know' Edward muttered, rubbing at his nose, 'like werewolf' Edward finished to explain further, Jacob rolled his eyes and nudged Edward softly on the shoulder. 'Yeah well you don't smell like peaches and daises either, vampire is not the next perfume that will hit the top of the markets in the next few years or so' Jacob retorted, smiling wildly at Edward's snort and head roll.

'Why do you still come here, you know it's dangerous, and I try and get in Forks as much as I can without making it obvious for Billy and the Guys' Jacob asked, playing with the hem of his shirt nervously. Edward rolled his head towards Jacob and smiled softly.

'I haven't been told to leave yet, until I do I will continue to come and see you work on this piece of shit. However I am sure we can find better things to do with our time' Edward explained with a wave of his manicured hands.

'Like what?' Jacob asked genuinely interested, Edward smiled and looked over at the trees near Jacob's house. 'Last one to the cliff buys drinks' Edward yelled getting up off of the floor and dashing into the distance. Vampire speed making him almost invisible. Jacob swore quietly and threw down his tools, taking off in the same direction as Edward. Wind and noise passing by his face ever millisecond he got closer to Edward.

Moments like these made days like those always better.

**six**.

At tea time Billy broke the happy news. When Billy opened his mouth to talk Jacob had the gravy boat tipped over his plate, ready to pour over his healthy plate of food. It was the last thing he was expecting.

'So, Bella is moving to Forks' Billy said with a grin. Jacob dropped the gravy boat and burnt his crouch.

**seven**.

'Isn't this great Jake, I've always known secretly that you've had a crush on Bella but now she is actually going to be so close to us that maybe something can happen' Billy said enthusiastically, piling more food onto his plate without looking up to see if his son was in any pain. Jacob winced, uncrossing his legs hoping the burn would reside that way. It didn't.

'Sure dad, whatever you say, I am going to go clean up' Jacob was up and out of his chair before Billy could blink.

Five seconds after the door to Jacob's room shut Billy was on the phone to Charlie.

'Great news Charlie, Jacob admitted he has a crush on Bella! This is brilliant'.

Charlie of course, seeing as it was eleven o'clock at night, hung up. He could deal with Billy in the morning.

**eight**.

'I don't get it' Jacob said into the phone later that night. 'Don't get what?' Edward replied. Jacob turned over in his bed, the noise loud in the almost quiet room, and Jacob stilled. Quiet, waiting for the sign, and Billy snored and Jacob relaxed again. Sign given that freedom was in Jacob's hands.

'How you do it, not suck my blood or anyone's for that matter' Jacob explained, watching the roof and the small rays of light dance across the dark sky.

'Well for one your blood reeks, it's sort of like would you willingly eat green vegetables?' Edward said, 'I like green vegetables' Jacob replied and Edward laughed loudly. 'You are an odd one then Jacob' Edward reprimanded playfully, and Jacob grinned.

'Pot meets Kettle, I wouldn't say anything along those lines vampy the vampire' Jacob teased quietly.

'Hardy ha ha, you crack me up' Edward said dryly. Jacob frowned.

'Where is the rest of your vamp fam?' Jacob asked, twisting the covers nervously around his hand. Edward moved around noisily over the phone, presumably to sit down. Or stand up.

'Alice is listening to our conversation and isn't doing a very good job in trying to cover herself up, and the rest are out hunting in the woods.' Edward explained, and Jacob nodded his head. 'Why aren't you with them?' Jacob asked, questions spilling out of his lips like usual.

'Because I promise I would call you' Edward said. And Jacob's heart skipped a beat. Or two.

'Oh' _oh. _

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

title: _a tide in the affairs of men_ ll author: _caricatureofintimacy_ ll rating: _pg_ ll word count:_ 2,147 words_ ll pairings: _edward/jacob, jacob/bella (bella/edward)_ ll warnings: _slash, homosexuality, swearing, loneliness_ ll spoilers: _it's best not to read this if you haven't read any twilight, but it won't hurt you. just knowing the characters and you should be fine. au forever really, their will be some details from all the books up to eclipse_ ll summary: _pressure from billy changes jake's view on girls (bella) forever, edward being there and alive doesn't help either._ ll

thanks too: Mizukihikari, IcePrincess87, asianpervert, becky2gt2bstr8, Emotionsonhold for the lovely comments. I want to thank c-jackie for adding my story to her favourite list, and Kairi92, Mizukihikari, Rusty4Coke, Twin Eclipse, arlene67, darkicefire and susanjones for adding me to their story alert. I am not a review aholic, and knowing that people liked my story enough to save them without commenting is still nice to me. So thank you. All of you. (And especially for the comments ! Written adoration / critisism is nice)

* * *

**a tide in the affairs of men**

**chapter two_ (told in six parts)_**

_(And lately I've been walking  
From all these places that I cannot stand  
I guess it's just my history talking  
Or I'm refusing to supply your demands)_

**one. **

Bella took two steps towards the Black household, when the door opened and Billy enthusiastically wheeled out. Rachel was behind him, frantically following after her crippled father, cloth draped over her left arm, dripping from the wet end onto her brown skin. Rebecca was behind her smiling.

"Bella! It's great to see you!" Billy cried happily across the small yard. Charlie placed a hand around Bella's shoulders and gripped it tightly. Bella forced an ecstatic smile on her face and walked forward to wrap Billy up in a friendly hug. Billy vibrated excitement through his entire body, and grinned against her neck.

"It's great to see you too Billy" Bella parroted, moving away from Billy and waving shyly in the other girls direction. "Such a beautiful girl you've grown up to be, Charlie she is beautiful" Billy enthused to Charlie, wheeling around Bella to shake Charlie's hand. Bella smiled unconvincingly in the other girl's direction, and walked forward to introduce herself.

"My name is Bella, I don't know if you remember me..." Bella introduced, standing in front of the girls directly, holding out her hand as a peace offering. Rebecca grinned and enthusiastically shook Bella's hand, pulling her into a warm hug and laughing at the nape of her neck.

"Of course we remember you, future Mrs. Jacob Black, its all dad ever talks about, other than the football and mum" Rebecca explains, watching Bella blush under her playful scrutiny.

"You know that really stopped being funny ages ago... actually now that I think about it, it was never funny in the first place" a voice calls from behind them in the house, and Rachel turns towards the voice and places her hands on either side of her hips in the most convincing pout Bella has ever witnessed.

"Jake...don't be rude and come and introduce yourself to our lovely guest" Rachel orders innocently, curling her finger slowly in a 'come here or you will die' gesture. Jacob hesitates behind the darkness of the house before following his whole family onto the small driveway. Bella frowns at the boy in front of her and takes an obvious step back.

"Bella Swan, I have heard loads about you" Jacob said tilting his head to the side. Observing. "I can't say the same about you" Bella says softly, watching Jacob's face go white in _anger? _"Well aren't you the lucky one?" Jacob says in reply, voice still soft, and hard in the centre. Face clear of any emotion, including anger. Rachel laughs nervously behind them.

"Coffee, let's have coffee" she says cheerfully, herding everyone into the house and into her kitchen.

-

"How's school been girls?" Charlie asks over dinner. Dinner was hosted earlier than usual today, Jacob had wanted to start working on his car, and it was the grand final for the football, so no one wanted to eat that late anyway. Both girls looked up from their dinner and shrugged their shoulders.

"It's ok, long days, short nights. The usual" Rebecca answered, waving her fork in the air, it stabs dangerously in her sisters direction. Rachel nodded her head in agreement.

"We're lucky that we got roomed together, I think I would've got even less sleep if I was sleeping near someone I didn't know. Creepy" Rachel said, shovelling some vegetables into her mouth and chewing loudly.

"Cops sleep at night knowing girls think about safety like that, especially girls your age" Charlie explains, accepting the butter from Billy and handing it to a silent stoic Jacob. "What about you Jacob, how's school going" Charlie asks, Jacob startles, surprised and as he is buttering his bread he shakes his head.

"Same same" Jacob replies, taking a bite out of his bread, "the boys look the same, the girls look the same, I feel the same, so...same" Jacob explains, grinning mischievously towards Charlie who was grinning back.

"That's great Jake, that's great"

-

"FOOTBALL!" Billy cheers turning on the TV via the small remote. Charlie nurses a bear in his right hand, the other over the couch pulling Rachel into a half embrace. "Yay!" Bella says faux happily, watching Jacob pull his boots on and tie the lasses quickly together.

"Where are you going Jake?" Rebecca asks from the door, eating the rest of the ice-cream out of the tub. Jacob looks up from his shoes towards his sister. "I'm going to take the car out for a test ride, might stop for ice-cream why?" Jacob responds, crouching forward he stands up and gestures his head towards the door.

"That sounds like fun," Rachel says from the couch pausing to turn towards her brother, "maybe you should take Bella with you, right dad?" Rachel finishes, watching Billy nod his head vigorously fast. Jacob frowns and Bella sinks awkwardly into the cushion. Hiding herself from Billy, the evil sisters, and Jacob's disappointed glare.

"Jacob, show the lady around town, here the ice-creams on me, REBECCA GET MY WALLET FROM THE KITCHEN!" Billy yells, turning his head around to watch Rebecca scramble for the wallet and for money. Rebecca hands Jacob a twenty and pushes him towards Bella.

"Go on, go on" Rebecca whispers into Jacob's ear. And Jacob sighs.

"Whatever, come on, there is something I want to show you anyway"

**two. **

The drive is awkward. Bella sits uncomfortably in the front passenger seat, her knuckles are white against the seat belt, and she is thirty percent sure that Jacob isn't old enough to have his licence yet. "How old are you anyway?" Bella asks, wincing when they turn a sharp corner. Jacob grins at her, hair dancing wildly across his boyish features. And Bella isn't sure.

"Sixteen in a few weeks, but the cops don't care as long as you don't kill anyone they usually turn a blind eye, small town you know" and no Bella did not know. She grins back anyway, finding Jacob's grin in itself to be infectious.

They stay quiet.

**three. **

Jacob parks the car near a cliff and gets out. Bella unbuckles her seat belt quickly and jumps out of the car to follow him. It was dark in La Push at night, and Bella wanted to stay as close to protection as possible. Walking close to the edge, Bella kicks at the rocks near her feet and watches them tumble down the edge, watches them fly through the air, and drop ceremoniously into the water below.

"What? What are we doing here?" Bella asks, taking a step back, safer to be closer to the car, than closer to the edge. Jacob takes a step further towards the edge, and leans over, the wind blows his hair, tickles his face, and erects goosebumps on his arms, and he grins.

"I like to go here sometimes to think" Jacob explains, turning around to face Bella and not the ocean. Bella frowns and huddles closer in her hoodie for warmth. "I don't know if you have realised it yet, but my dad has been planning our wedding before I even knew who you were. It's suffocating at best" Jacob finishes with a wave of his hand and a sad frown.

"Oh, I don't...my dad has never mentioned that to me, I'm sorry" Bella says, taking a step forward to Jacob, and Jacob steps back, feet crunching on the gravel. Bella's heart beats faster. To close to the edge. "Ah Jake, get away from the edge, you're going to give me a fucking heart attack if you don't move" Bella swears, hand going to her heart.

And Jacob laughs.

"I'm not going to fall, I promise"

-

"Where are we going now" Bella asks when they get back to the car.

"No offence, but I want to show you why you are not enough"

-

**four. **

They drive in silence, the radio turned on low, so low that the music is only useless noise in the background, both indulged in their thoughts. Bella watches the trees pass by her, and only really notices where they are going when they exit La Push and drive down the main road into Forks. Bella turns towards Jacob questioningly. However Jacob shows no emotion in his face. His eyes never leave the road, and Bella feels safe in the car with him, even though he isn't old enough to get a licence yet.

They turn off of the main road and drive down a deserted road. Forest and grass on both sides and Bella closes her eyes and pretends to sleep. Jacob's silence is loud, in a way that shows Bella that this is not something he'd tell a lot of people, and that this was important, and Bella felt inferior. And special and she kept her eyes closed until the car stopped, and Jacob shook her awake.

"We here?" Bella asks for show and Jacob smiles softly. "I knew you were awake Bella, but thanks, it means a lot" Jacob says patting her awkwardly on her shoulder before turning towards the hugest motherfucking house Bella has ever seen in her life.

"Holy shit" Bella says in awe, and Jacob laughs. Loudly. Blushing Bella turns back towards the house and gloats.

"Where are we?" Bella repeats for what feels like the tenth time that night and Jacob smiles, wide and large and happy.

"Welcome to Casa De Cullen, I just hope Edward's home"

-

Edward? Who the hell is Edward?

**five. **

Jacob doesn't knock on the door when he gets to the door of the mansion, and Bella doesn't question anything. Jacob looks worried and happy and Bella doesn't know what she should feel like so she stays silent and follows Jacob up the winding staircase. And Bella is just breathless the piano is beautiful, and if she was a pianist she would sit down at the seat and play, play till her fingers bled. And they were at the top of the staircase. And they were walking down the hallway to a large door and pushing that door open. And Bella lost her breath all over again.

-

**six.**

"Jacob" Edward says in surprise, eyes wide behind a thick tome of information, which Bella can see is a text book. Jacob smiles wildly at Edward and walks further into the room."What are you doing here? Miss me already?" Edward asks, leaning forward on the couch to drape himself over the corner and stare at them full on.

"Of course" Jacob replies, "I want to introduce you to someone Ed" Jacob says grabbing for Bella's hand, dragging her further into the room, and Edward stills. His whole body paralyses on the couch, and it's not noticeable at first, but Edward's eye starts to twitch, and Jacob's eyes go wide in understanding.

"Bella I think you forgot something in the car" Jacob lies smoothly, and Bella doesn't get a chance to say anything before Jacob is dragging her out the door, down the stairs and into the car. Bella doesn't struggle, just looks up to the house in wonder. "Jacob what?" Bella asks when Jacob closes the door and peers at her through the glass window.

"Stay in the car I will be down soon"

-

"Edward?" Jacob calls, walking slowly into the room. Edward looks up from the couch, removing his hand from on top of his head, and frowning at his boyfriend.

"She smelt good" Edward explains when Jacob joins him on the couch, laying down next to Edward and laying his head on the beautiful boy's chest.

"I thought that didn't matter anymore, I mean it's been so long" Jacob asks watching Edward shake his head and close his eyes to block the pain, and Edward didn't explain.

"Do you need to hunt" Jacob questions when Edward doesn't answer, and Edward nods his head. Jacob turns over to move away and Edward pulls him back, till Jacob is lying on top of him.

"I want to kiss you" Edward says, brushing his thumb over Jacob's bottom lip, and Jacob closes his eyes and leans forward, brushes their noses together and kisses him gently on the lips.

"I would like to stay and do this all night but I have to take Bella home, I think she is worried she did something wrong" Jacob says pulling away from Edward's body before leaning in again to kiss him one more time.

"Bella" Edward repeats "her name is Bella"

And Jacob nods his head "Bella Swan, my future wife at least that's what my dad thinks"

Edward grins.

To Be Continued

_Next update should be in a week or so, I have Panic/Cobra/TAI on Friday so I'll be busy having fun. Hope you all enjoyed this. And have a nice day. _

_- Rachel._


	3. Chapter 3

title: _a tide in the affairs of men_ ll author: _caricatureofintimacy_ ll rating: _pg_ ll word count:_ 2,138 words_ ll pairings: _edward/jacob, jacob/bella (bella/edward), jasper/alice_ ll warnings: _slash, homosexuality, swearing, loneliness, het_ ll spoilers: _it's best not to read this if you haven't read any twilight, but it won't hurt you. just knowing the characters and you should be fine. au forever really, their will be some details from all the books up to eclipse_ ll summary: _pressure from billy changes jake's view on girls (bella) forever, edward being there and alive doesn't help either._ ll

thanks: SophiaBushFan, yohanita21, kunf'you'z-ed, Anberu Shiruru, and, rry for the reviews. They mean a lot. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have whipped this choppy chapter up together. Really choppy if I have a say in anything.

* * *

**a tide in the affairs of men**

**chapter three (_told in five parts_)**

(like a heart needs a beat)

one.

_They screeched to a halt in front of the house. The lights were on, and the TV was flashing neon through the windows, Jacob could barely figure out who was who in the room. Charlie was sitting on the couch, back taut against the seat, hands wringed in front of himself in a nervous jitter, Billy was beside him, beer clasped in hand and 80s fist pump thrown joyously in the air. Someone must have scored a goal. Jacob couldn't really care._

_Bella was silent next to him in the car. She had not said a word the whole car trip, her breaths came short and soft like nervous pants, and Jacob was worried, but not enough to actually say something. He really didn't want to say something. Jacob had not known Edward for long, maybe five months, when he realised he was in love. Edward had started stalking him, appearing above him or beside him when he worked on his car, strolling with him down the street when Jacob walked to work. Edward just started to appear everywhere. _

_For La Push that was a strange thing. Vampires were not allowed into La Push, it was a grand law created so many years ago to protect the werewolves. And Jacob had known Edward was a vampire, which Edward was in danger whenever he came to see Jacob, and Jacob didn't exactly know how to stop him (he didn't want him to stop.) After a while the visits became routine. Jacob started to expect them, and when Edward didn't turn up on some days, Jacob just presumed he was hunting, and pushed down the sadness and fear that stayed until Edward came again. Edward always came again. _

_Jacob hoped it wouldn't get to a stage where he was needy. _

_Bella stuttered out a gasp-like breath and shrunk lower in her seat. Jacob turned his full attention to her and unbuckled his seat belt quickly and efficiently. Bella mimicked his actions, but didn't get out of the car. They both weren't ready to get out of the car. Facing the music was always harder before you had to face it. Jacob just really couldn't put up with any more from his dad. _

_We should probably go inside soon, died on his lips before he could say anything, because Bella had leaned forward and pressed her mouth slowly and anxiously to his. And. And Jacob froze. His body paralysed, his lips felt numb, like the touch of her lips had frozen them. She breathed hot air against his lips, and Jacob shivered. Not from disgust, and not from heat. He just felt, wrong. _

_Bella pulled away._

'_Why did you do that?' Jacob asked, giving Bella a look that screamed _what the fucking hell_. _

'_I just wanted to have a reason to why we shouldn't date too. You have Edward, I have the kiss. I felt nothing' _

two.

Alice knows, but only by default, it's not that Edward's embarrassed about Jacob, and it's not that Edward is scared that Esme and Carlisle will disapprove of their relationship; it's just that Edward wanted something of his own to be special, and his. And he loved the thrill of secrecy, and playfulness. And for the first time in over a hundred years Edward felt like a teenager. Living the life he was meant to lead those many years ago. And Jacob understood.

Even as he lusted physically and mentally after Bella. For her blood, for her. He just couldn't get the taste of her off of his mouth, off of his skin. She was everywhere.

Jacob understood. He loved Jacob.

And Alice only knew by default.

three.

Alice was sitting on his recliner lounge when Edward retreated from his room after Jacob had left with that mysterious girl Bella. Edward knew just by the poise in her body, that she was ready for discussion, long discussion. Edward blinked and sat down gingerly beside his quasi sister. Discussions with Alice could got both ways. She could either be really nice, or really mean. He didn't exactly know what type of discussion this was going to be. He wasn't really looking forward to it.

Alice turned her body towards him, her eyes locked with his, and they both held their breaths. Even though it was pointless and didn't do much about the problem. But for pretend, it helped masses.

'So Jacob' Alice says, after half an hour of searching his mind. Edward jumped at the sound of her voice, soft and piercing and understanding, and ever so Alice and Edward smiled softly.

'Jacob' and something from his voice or from the glistening of his cold eyes made Alice believe what she had been hearing in Edward's mind, but for safety disbelieving.

'Ok' and Alice patted Edward on the shoulder, sympathetically and squeezed it gently. 'I am going to go find Jasper; I think hunting is on the menu, he was a bit testy this morning, snapping at Carlisle over breakfast. I worry about him sometimes' Alice admits, playing with the pearls around her neck nervously.

'You don't have to worry about him' Edward explains uselessly, Alice smiles sadly and tucks her hair behind her ear. 'I do, I just, I always looked forward to planning your wedding Ed' Alice says changing the topic back to Jacob and himself. Edward ducks his head and scratches at the nape of his neck.

'Yeah well...' Edward mumbles, 'You'll always have...' Edward pauses, and looks back at Alice sadly.

_There was no one left. _

four.

To:

Date: 06/02/08

Subject: Holiday

Jacob,

Esme and Carlisle have decided to take us on another 'holiday'. I think this time we are going to Romania, I've never been to Romania before – believe it or not. So I am sort of excited. Anyway, Alice had some prediction that Jasper would do something romantic up there for her, so right now she is being exceedingly annoying and not getting off my case.

She also screams HI!

Carlisle is taking us 'hunting' in the forests of Romania. Esme is looking forward to new forests to explore. I just can't wait to get up there and hunt. Being near Bella is making it harder and harder to resist temptation. I don't know why. It's sort of scary. She's just Bella, why do I want her so badly?

You'd think logically that I'd want you more (in the way I am talking about). You're my boyfriend, and it's not like I secretly lust for Bella or something retarded like that. This is not some freaking pop culture novel I'm in, this is not fiction. I live this life day to day.

I can't wait to get to Romania. Hunting Jake, Hunting! I feel like the kid who's got their lolly stolen by some pompous jackass in a blue stripped pin suit. Whoever would still a lollipop from a baby has serious issues anyway. Lollipops only cost $1, if you can't afford one, you don't have the right to steal one.

I'm going to miss you. Not being able to stalk you while you are fixing your car, walking to school or work. Who's going to keep you company. I know that Bella and you aren't the best of friends since the whole "kiss" thing. Maybe Quil and that other brain dead friend of yours can keep you company.

I like Sam though. Stick with Sam and all the boys in the hood will fall for you. Sam is sort of a sweet heart. Well he is a sweet heart when he knows that he is not around vampires. When he does know he is around vampires, or when he smells my cologne and beautiful odour on you, he freaking goes wild. Like a pack of monkeys on a banana. Sam is sort of really attractive when he goes wild.

Sorry Jake I think you might have some competition. Alice is complaining, she wants me to tell her how she really looks in the dress she is wearing. Though it is proven fact that vampires always look smashingly beautiful. It's just she has a big date with Jasper tonight, and she doesn't want to ruin it. If she ruins it, oh will she cry.

I'll email you later, or talk to you, about when I am leaving, so at least you have some warning. I'll try and come when Billy is not around, because last time we nearly got caught wrestling in your back yard, and I really don't want an old man in a wheel chair chasing me all the way back to Forks with a shot gun and an M16. Not that it could kill me anyway.

Oh and I better be number one on your list when you marry Bella. If I am not at least invited, that means no more sex from me.

Oh Jake you'll make Billy proud.

Love,

Ed Cullen.

Date: 06/03/08

Subject: RE: Holiday

Edward,

Romania? That is a long way away. Why when you go on holidays does it have to be halfway around the world where there is a huge chance and possibility that I will never see you again? Carlisle picks the weirdest places to go 'hunting'. I don't think I will ever understand why the Fork's forest isn't good enough. But fine, you can go to Romania and sleep with beautiful Romanian women with thick heavy accents and breasts the size of watermelons drugged with steroids. But if you decide to order a mail order bride and bring her back to the states, I don't think I will ever talk to you again. Whether you stalk me or not. I just can't compete with such easiness.

Sam and Emily will be getting married soon. The wedding is going to be a beautiful sight. I know how Emily looked before the accident and even now, after going through so much pain and damage, she looks spectacular, and the way she still loves Sam, even after all the things he didn't mean to do, means that she is the best woman in the whole entire world. Sam deserves respect; he has gone through a lot of hard times in his life. Not that he'd appreciate it coming from a vampire. You disgusting animals =P

Tell Alice 'Hi'. It's funny that she is the only one in your entire family that knows about me. I think if it wasn't for her premonitions and freaky mind thing she does, no one would know. Are you embarrassed by me? For some reason I think that Werewolves have so much more hate towards Vampires, and that in the long run it is not recuperated tenfold. I don't think your family would mind if they knew about me.

Maybe Jasper though. Emmett seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't even blink twice if you brought back a donkey and pronounced you were lovers. But then that's bestiality and that's a whole different topic I am not willing to go on. Sex with animals is really, really disgusting.

If it makes you feel any better my dad doesn't own an M16. He owns a shot gun though, so i think you better get your running shoes on soon. He'd hate to know that his precious baby boy has been violated sexually by some heinous vampire. I think he'd hate it enough to kill the son of a bitch.

And Bella and I aren't getting married, we pinky promised and everything, and we all know that pinky promises cannot be broken, and if they are, for the rest of your life you will be totally miserable, yadayadayada send this to twenty other people or you'll be UNLUCKY IN LOVE TILL YOUR 50! THIS IS TOTALLY HONEST, IT HAPPENEDTO ME! SEND! OR BE LOVELESS TILL YOUR 50

Heh. My capslock sort of fucked up while writing that.

School tomorrow 'ah!'

Take me with you to Romania. Anything is better than 11th year science.

Love and hatred,

Jacob.

five.

Jacob slammed the door shut to the family Ute and made his way up the footpath. Billy wheeled behind him slowly, being pushed gently along by Rebecca who was humming a soft tune. A tune Jacob's mum sang when she made breakfast, when she cleaned the house, a second breath. Jacob remembered little about his mum, he knew the colour of her hair, and what TV shows she liked to watch after chores were done. He knew what her favourite ice-cream flavour was, and why she died. However he didn't know what the song was.

That made him sad.

He wished Edward was here.

He was in Romania, hunting. He'd be back in a week. A week felt like forever.

Forever felt like nothing.

That made him sad also.

_to be continued_


End file.
